Crazed In the Kitchen: Pregnancy and Grief, Or How To Get Nothing Done   

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Pregnancy and Grief, Or How To Get Nothing Done

This post is the latest in my "Way-Back Wednesday" series (on the third Wednesday of each month, I revisit one of my favorite posts from the past). Enjoy!

You know those days where you have to keep reminding yourself how much you love your spouse, or you'll end up killing them?

I think my husband is having one of those days.

Oh well, at least Ryan gets me.
I have to admit, I've been a bit of a mess lately. I'm 30 weeks pregnant, so, thanks to hormones, my mind and body don't always feel like they are totally under my control. (This explains why I frequently walk like an old lady and sometimes call my kids by the cat's name.) We also happen to have a lot going on right now, including buying a bigger car, filing our taxes, dealing with an incompetent cable/internet company (I'm looking at you, AT&T U-Verse), and preparing for an upcoming family trip. I'd say I was juggling a lot of balls, but that would only be true if "juggling" meant "kicking around a bunch of balls and occasionally maybe throwing one up in the air and hoping it doesn't hit anyone in the eye."

It's a lot to handle under normal circumstances, but unfortunately there's even more: Late last week, my beloved great-aunt Ruthie--whom I have always considered a third grandma--died unexpectedly.

So, on top of the day-to-day absurdities of everyday life (seriously, AT&T? Thirty-five minutes on the phone to resolve NOTHING?), I have been flooded with grief and memories of my Aunt Ruthie. And, because my Aunt Ruthie and my mom were so close, I am also being flooded with memories of my mom. I am missing both of them so much right now it sometimes physically hurts. And the juggling thing? Those balls have rolled under the couch and are collecting dust and cat hair.

I haven't written much about my Aunt Ruthie on my blog, but back in October I wrote about my memories of my mom and our frequent trips to visit my grandma (Aunt Ruthie's sister). So while I get a broom and attempt to knock those balls out from under the couch so I can get them back up in the air again, go ahead and revisit this:

Arizona Memories, Or How I Learned My Grandma Is A Stone-Cold Killer

And while you're here, I'd appreciate any ideas you have on how I can apologize to my husband for my sub-par juggling skills. It'll get better...probably.

18 comments:

  1. we all have bad days.. and sad days and sometimes they all mix together in hormonal mess days. i feel ya, i'm thinking of ya and i'm sending hugs and chocolates your way. xo

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    1. Thank you! Chocolate is a cure-all. Don't think I haven't been hitting it already. ;)

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  2. Girl, you made me laugh out loud, which woke Fynnie, so now I am nursing instead of sneaking around my own house trying to get ready for work. A friend of mine (who has a four year old, two year old and seven month old twins(!!) and I joke about juggling balls all the time... mostly that they are flying and there are a lot of "oops, sorries" in our worlds.

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    1. Holy cow--I'm sure your friend is nice but I think she might also be crazy! And I had to laugh about sneaking around your own house--I do that some mornings, too--just to get a bowl of cereal and cup of coffee in my body before the tornadoes wake up.

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  3. My kids are grown (empty nest syndrome and you may not want to be there either, especially with nooner with no job). Drags on and on and on as I still search for one! I love how you write and the intensity with your writing style and sharing!!! Ty! My sympathies of your Special Aunts passing!!! Her memories (sweet as I bet thru are) will live through you and your little ones! That's a great feeling along with your Mom's! Have a super great night and weekend coming up!!! :)

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  4. Sorry for the miss spelled words, Small keys are a pain....

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  5. Men don't hear apolofies, they see it and feel it. My husband is like that. I'm always a crab, because I am a stay at home mom and have 7 children to care for and 2 dogs and 2 cats! The best way I show my husband love is to do special things for him. I always have his work clothes clean, always have socks/underwear ready for him in the morning. I take his work boots off when he gets home from work and rub his feet and back or what ever he wants done. I always make him dinner as well. This is the best way to show your husband you love him and the juggling act will disappear and become better, just by showing your husband love. Trust me it works, cause I SUCK at money holding, and he always gets mad at me for it...but it dont last long and we always love on each other no matter what (God has a big part of it too). Hope this helps!

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  6. Sorry to hear about that. I hope you get your balls up in the air again as soon as you can.

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  7. Awww... sorry to hear about your bad day. Hope the coming days will be much better for you!

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  8. Oh man, 30 weeks. So close, and yet, not close enough. I am totally feeling for you.

    When I made a mess of things with my husband I would just walk up to him when he least expected it, give him a hug and say I'm sorry.

    Eating crow sucks, but it's worth it.

    Stay strong mama...you're almost there :)

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    1. Yep--30 weeks is panic time in my book! Bigger car was job one, now we need to start getting things ready to actually have a newborn in the house again! And, thanks--eating crow does suck, but saying "sorry" is probably a good idea.

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  9. Wow. You just reminded me that my mother was pregnant with my brother when her step-father died. They were close and the entire family was devastated. However, my brother still came and he is relatively fine. He's a touch on the sensitive side but fine, nevertheless.

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and love during this time. Stand strong mama! You can do it.

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    1. Thank you. That must have been hard for your mother. There's never a "convenient" time for grieving, unfortunately.

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    2. I tried to learn juggling too, but I couldn't manage more than one ball at a time. But I'm pretty good at it!

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