Crazed In the Kitchen: YEAST CREAM   

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

YEAST CREAM

Lately I’ve been on a quest to make some more mom-friends. So I’ve been handing out my phone number like a 20-something single girl at last call. A few months ago I even exchanged numbers with a mom I met in line at the post office (talk about a meet cute!).  
This morning I packed up William, my politically-correct canvas grocery bags, and my shopping list and set off. My list was neatly divided: Things to Buy at CVS, and Things to Buy at Trader Joe’s. The Trader Joe’s side had the usual grocery stuff. The CVS side listed exactly three things: “bottle brush, toothpaste, and YEAST CREAM.” Yes, yeast cream. But it’s not what you think: every few months my littlest guy gets a nasty diaper rash that needs jock itch cream to knock it down. And this happens to be one of those months. 
So. Quick trip to CVS finished, we are browsing Trader Joe’s, and we run into a mom who looks familiar. Once we figure out how we sort-of know each other, we chat…and it’s magical. Light-hearted, sympathetic…everything you want in a potential mom-friend. But with three kids present between the two of us, eventually the magic gave way to crying (hers) and a hacking coughing fit (mine). She headed to the frozen organic fruit, and I to the hormone-free milk and yogurt. But I couldn’t get her out of my mind. Was she The One? Could this be my next bestie? Are almost-40-year-old women allowed to say ‘bestie?’ I had to take action.
I grabbed my list, flipped it over, and scrawled my contact info on the one tiny bit of available blank space (OF COURSE I recycle old used papers for my shopping lists! OF COURSE this is not because I couldn’t find a single piece of blank paper in the house!). I ripped off my info and headed across the aisles to find my prey. As I approached, I flipped the paper over, curious to see which part of my shopping list was on the back. I hoped it was the “whole wheat flat bread, organic squash, and intriguing-but-not-pretentious-sounding-wine” part. But, as I should have known, there was nothing written there but “bottle brush, toothpaste, and YEAST CREAM.”
I stopped in my tracks. I wanted to believe that it didn’t matter what was written on the back of my contact info, that my potential new friend wouldn’t even look back there. But who was I kidding? would look back there, if someone handed me their number. And, yes, I suppose “YEAST CREAM” isn’t the most embarrassing thing to have to buy…anti-diarrhea medication, maybe? Condoms, size small, perhaps? But still. YEAST CREAM. Yuck.
I assessed my options. #1) Hunt down another pen (not so easy, damn Bermuda Triangle diaper bag) and cross off the offending item. #2) Abort mission, move on with my life, maybe place one of those “Missed Connections” ads on Craigslist and hope for the best. Or #3), seize the moment and the potential adult conversation in my future, lead with a joke about the YEAST CREAM, and go for it.
I decided to go for it. It’ll be fine! We’re all adults here! Right? RIGHT???
Well, I’m happy to say, it worked. We laughed together about the YEAST CREAM, exchanged numbers, and even went so far as to set a play date for a few days from now.
Which gives me juuuust enough time to try to break my 3-year-old of the habit of yelling “god damage!” every time something doesn’t go his way. 

30 comments:

  1. Oh, this made me laugh out loud! Plus I'll have to try giving my number to potential mommy friends. I'll just make sure "yeast cream" isn't on the list!

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    1. I'm not sure I'm in favor of "mom cards" with all your contact info preprinted, but this experience made me think seriously about ordering some!

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  2. Oh..my..gosh!!! I think you're my long lost twin!! No, seriously...this stuff happens to me ALL THE TIME!! I'm beginning to think the universe has placed a giant "kick me" sign on my bum. In fact, I'm way behind in posts right now because I fell and broke my tailbone when I tried snowboarding a couple of weeks ago, and I'm too drugged up to get the motivation to write something funny! Fortunately you have inspired me to get my new post up soon. Ah, I kindred spirit!!

    But I suppose we do have one thing to be very thankful for--at least this stuff makes for great writing material! LOL

    You TOTALLY need to be in my Triberr tribe...we're the Funny Mamas...I'm going to go stalk you on Twitter and pester you until you join me!

    Smiles, Jenn @Misadventures in Motherhood

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  3. lol I was laughing out loud a lot! I love this "Bermuda Triangle diaper bag" It seems our purses are like this too!
    I have never given out my number to potential mommy friends. We don't get out much, and normally just hang out with my family. (my mom being my best friend kinda helps with that. ;) )

    I would totally look on the back of the paper, and yeast cream wouldn't turn me off to a potential friendship. haha ;)

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    1. Sadly, I live almost 2,000 miles away from my immediate family or I'd be hanging out at their house all the time! And what is it about purses and diaper bags???

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  4. Love this. It hits so close to home. We could be besties. I just asked my dad to fix something under my sink and he had to move condoms and pregnancy tests to get to it. Yup.

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  5. Hee hee. I think we're allowed to say besties! Why not? We say things like potty, play date and quiet time too! :)

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    1. This mommy totally needs her quiet time, every single day. I also give myself time-outs, when necessary!

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  6. this is highly amusing! Can you please, please , please move to my neighborhood? i'm looking for a bestie..yeast cream and all!

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    1. Lol. I have actually become good friends with the woman I met in this post--so I have to recommend handing out your phone number when you feel it's right! Even if their shopping list says "yeast cream."

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  7. Phew! I was afraid you were going to give it to her and not realize until later that it said yeast cream and then have to call and explain and it would just sound like you're lying and I can't even handle thinking about how awkward that would be ;)

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    1. Lol, I think I'd just have given up on the whole friendship at that point!

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  8. Awesome! We also had to use yeast cream for our little one, so I know what you mean about purchasing that product for your baby. Way to go through with it and gain a potential new "bestie" --and yes, I think you can still say that!

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    1. Thank you, Christine! Parenthood brings all sorts of fun new products I never thought I would need!

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  9. Mom friends are so important! They can be a real life saver. I loved your story, and since the potential mom friend saw the humour in it, she's obviously a good potential friend!

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    1. You're right! She has become quite a good friend, so I'm glad I went for it despite the embarrassing moment at the start.

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  10. That's so funny! Who would've thought that yeast cream could bring two people together? Come to think of it, mom-friends are like yeast cream- they take away the itch and make you feel better.

    I'm on the perennial search for a new bestie. Congrats on that new friendship :)

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    1. Lol at "mom-friends are like yeast cream- they take away the itch and make you feel better." So true!

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  11. I loved this post and I can so relate to feeling like you are a single 20 something searching for a date when you are trying to find mom friends. I use to troll the streets of Queens searching for moms who had the same brand of stroller as I did on the belief that if they too were obsessed with stroller brands we could be good friends!!! Love that your friend got the humor of the yeast cream, that is a good one!! Thanks for making me smile!

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    1. Lol at the stroller love--we have WAY more strollers than we have kids. Drives my hubby crazy!

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  12. Yup, if people can't handle the real you, then why bother worrying. Yeast Cream or not. I'm glad you found a new friend!

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  13. This was hilarious! Great way to start a new friendship - you already know that she has a sense of humour! Although next time, I might just write "baby cream" or "baby's special cream" on the list ;-)

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    1. Oh, yes. I've bought MANY more tubes of yeast cream since then and I always use a term that's a little less obvious now!

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  14. So funny! :)
    But I'm glad it all turned out well. :)

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