Crazed In the Kitchen: They're Throwing Snowballs in Hell Right Now...   

Friday, September 21, 2012

They're Throwing Snowballs in Hell Right Now...

A few things are about to happen that I have to tell you about. Number 1, my hometown Cubbies are going to win next season’s World Series. Number 2, my 4-year-old son is going to stop screaming “VAGINA!” 18 times a day at random intervals. And, Number 3, my 2-year-old son is going to start sleeping through the night, every single night, for the rest of his life.

All of these things are definitely going to happen…because Hell has officially frozen over.

How do I know this? Well, I’m going off of what has happened to my little ole blog over the past week.

The BIG news, and the event that really sent Satan running to Nordstroms for new Uggs, is this:


Yep, that whole thing I posted a few weeks ago about channeling my Inner Rockstar and reaching for new heights with my writing and making out with Bono…

Wait, what?

Sorry. Bono fantasy distracted me again.

Anyway, all that stuff I wrote for my Blogger Idol audition obviously fooled, I mean impressed, those judges, because they picked me (and 12 others—see below) out of 167 auditions to compete for a MONSTER HUGE basket of chocolate. (Yeah, there are other prizes, too, and some really cool ones, but I can only focus on the chocolate. Check out the Blogger Idol website to see what else there is to win.)

So, as soon as I finish bragging about myself here, I’m off to write my first assignment post of the competition. And come Wednesday, I’ll be all over facebook and twitter begging you to haul ass over to their website to vote for me.

Because I really want that chocolate.

But, believe it or not, THAT’S NOT ALL!

Remember me?
Earlier this week I received an email from my favorite online magazine for moms, BonBon Break. And guess what? They want to feature my RabidRaccoon/Deadly Spider/Chupacabra post in one of their upcoming issues! You should check them out—they’ve always got a ton of great stuff over there and I’m honored that they want to include me. I’ll let you know when my post goes live.

So, all of that is pretty exciting and unbelievable right? BUT THERE’S EVEN MORE!

My friend Andi-Roo at nominated me for the Liebster Award! The Liebster Award is granted to up and coming bloggers with fewer than 200 followers who deserve some recognition and support to keep on blogging. And she picked me! (Well, she picked 11 people, but I was one of them!)

The Liebster Award comes with a few rules, which I am going to bend. But I can do that, because I am a Blogger Idol 2012 finalist. WE MAKE OUR OWN RULES!


Anyway, when you are nominated, you are then expected to nominate 11 other bloggers who you feel deserve the recognition. Then you have to answer 11 questions from the person who nominated you, and ask 11 new questions of the bloggers you nominated.

But, did I mention that I’m a Blogger Idol 2012 finalist? I have stuff to do, people. There’s a huge-ass basket of chocolate on the line. So with apologies to Andi-Roo, instead of nominating 11 blogs I’m going to point you toward the other 12 Blogger Idol 2012 finalists. There’s some scary-good writing on these blogs, and you should go read them and then NOT tell me about it because I am still working under the delusion that the basket o’ chocolate could be mine. And, because I know the pressure they are now under as Blogger Idol 2012 finalists (oh, yeah, did I mention I’m one too?), I am not going to give them new questions to answer.

So, here are the official 13 Blogger Idol 2012 finalists:

Now for my answers to Andi-Roo’s questions. Keepin’ it short but sweet here. Chocolate, remember?

You can have a half-hour conversation with anyone no longer living. Who do you choose? Why?
Definitely my mom. Because lately I’ve had this awesome latent memory come up of being 4 or 5 and eating graham crackers covered with some incredible peanut butter frosting. I’d really like to get that recipe. (There are other reasons I’d like to talk to her, of course, but that one is really bugging me these days.)

You can have a half-hour conversation with any fictional character. Who do you choose? Why?
Scarlett O’Hara. The end of Gone With the Wind haunts me to this day. I’d ask her what happened next.

Of these four characters, which do you most resemble in your own life?
— The Protagonist (Shit just happens when you’re around.): Dorothy / Harry Potter
— The Brains (You think of ways to avoid / escape the shit.): Scarecrow / Hermione Granger
— The Heart (Everyone loves you when the shit hits the fan.): Tin Woodman / Ron Weasley
The Hero (“Who’s a coward now that shit just got REAL, bitches?”): Cowardly Lion / Neville Longbottom
Definitely The Protagonist. But mostly because I’ve always wanted to be Dorothy.

What made you choose your current Twitter avi?
Um, ‘cause it’s the best picture of me I could find, and I look way cuter in it than I usually do in real life. Duh. 

What’s your blood type? Just kidding. Trick question. Now go pee in a cup. I’M JOKING. Gosh, why so freaking serious? For realz this time: Are you down with True Blood?
Nope. My vampire love begins and ends with Twilight.  

How many pairs of shoes do you have? Don’t lie. It’s good to feel the shame. Let it burn.
It’s more embarrassing to admit that I only have like 6 right now. And 4 of them are sneakers. Pregnancy was not kind to my feet. When I go back to work I’ll have to buy some “normal” shoes, I guess.

Pushpins? Or dry erase markers?

You’re throwing darts at your favorite local pub. Your choice: Are you tossing at a corkboard or one of those plastic mechanical pieces of crap?
HA HA HA HA HA HA “favorite local pub.” I have 2 kids and no life. But if you came to my house and installed a dartboard, I guess I’d have to say corkboard.

How often do you utilize your local library? What materials do you check out? Books, CDs, books on CD, DVDs… some even carry video games…
The kids and I go almost weekly. We mostly check out kids’ books about trucks and space and volcanoes.

Be honest: Did you, or did you not, read and adore “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” by Judy Blume? Best book EV.ER, #AmIRight ? Is there a male equivalent, anyone? #AskingForAFriend
I was an over-achiever at reading and read that book when I was in second grade. I had NO IDEA what this period thing was, so I asked my mom and then the whole book made a lot more sense.

Chinese or Mexican? I know, it’s a toss-up. CHOOSE. My dinner might just depend upon your answer.
Chinese. Unless it’s Mexican. Blogger Idol 2012 finalists are allowed to be fickle like that. And it doesn’t really matter, because all I want to eat is CHOCOLATE!!!


  1. And yes, I mean it. I have ONE bumper sticker on my minivan. You know what it says? Twilight Mom.

  2. Hey...I hope you recognize me from the ol' Blogger Idol clan. Anyway, I JUST posted this week about my 2.5 year old who doesn't sleep through the night. So, when I read this post, I had to give you a shout out.

    Sleepless moms, unite! Or cry and eat chocolate...whatever.

  3. But now because I don't get enough sleep, I tend to mix up Twilight and the Hunger Games. Kind of like I learned French in high school, then tried to learn Spanish a few years ago and just ended up speaking Franish. So, to me, it's all Twilunger Games now.

  4. @Lisa, WHEN, WHEN???? Will he sleep through the night? I'm off to read your post now. I'd go to bed, but he's due for his nightly 11:30 wakeup in about 30 minutes, so why bother.

  5. I love that thing about your mom. My answer would be my dad. And you humility is cute and all, but your audition was great and one of my favorites. Glad to see you made it to the big dance!

  6. Great post! congrats on being in the top 13 for blog idol how awesome!

  7. Congratulations!!! A professional blog developer personally complimented me on my blog, Family Travels on a Budget, this week. Having only 76 followers and only in business for five months, her compliment sent me "over the moon!" Congratulations on all your achievements. May all your blogging dreams come true... and your two year old sleep through the night! :)

  8. I know,right?! I'm hoping that by your assessment, this means MY 2 year old will sleep through the night,too. That would be the best thing ever.

    I only have 3 pairs of shoes. And yes, Scarlett. That "sequel" someone dreamed up years ago didn't satisfy me.

  9. OH,jeezus..where are my manners? CONGRATS!!

  10. @DKL--Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that!

    @Pamela and Gina--Thank you! Whoo hoooo!

    @Karen--Thank you! I've seen your site before, but I'm off to check it out again. We could need all the advice in that arena that we can get!

    @Dumbsainthood--Did you also feel like screaming and puking at the same time when you found out you were a finalist? I'm kind of convinced this will be my one-and-only week in the competition.

  11. Congratz :) Don't know much about Blogger Idol, but know it's a great deal. If there 's any voting involved, let me know. Will be happy to support :)

  12. Congratulations - this must be so exciting! I am a twilight fan as well.

  13. Congrats. :)
    I hope your son stops yelling about anatomy, my son randomly says the opposite because I thought teaching him proper anatomy would be a good idea. *sigh* It was funny the first time...not to funny the 5,000th time...and def. not funny in public. ;)

  14. Congrats! What an exciting course of events!

  15. Of *course* you're a finalist! Congratulations. (I did feel my heart skip a beat when I read that the Cubbies are going to win. My husband's from Evanston. He and his mom would probably *die* if that were to happen.)

  16. @Suni--Thank you! I will definitely let everyone know about voting when the time comes.

    @Summer--Thank you!

    @Rosey--you are exactly right. The 50,000th time just made me want to cry.


    @Shan--I'M from Evanston! How funny, and what a small world it is.

  17. LOL! NOW I do that we have our first assignment but I was so sure I wouldn't be picked that I didn't even bother watching the announcement! I came back to the computer and peole were posting congrats on the FB wall. I was so confused...

  18. Congrats for being on Blogger Idol :)
    I'd want to talk to Scarlett O'Hara too. I'll tell her that her cheek-pinching trick doesn't work on me.

  19. Chupacabra & screaming Vaginas... I think I'll have nightmares tonight :) Must say goodnight for now & will have to come back to re-read the post... Up well past bedtime :) zzzz

  20. @Pepper--That never worked on me, either. Just made me look, well, pinched. ;)

    @Cynthia--Thanks for stopping by!

  21. aw, molly, congratulations! i'm so proud of you. you have my vote on whatever platform the blogger idol people decide to open voting. and i've never read your chupacabra post. i've got to get on that.

    and i need to tweet you about something. i'll try to do it today because you're my real and true blog friend :)

  22. Thanks, Wendy! You're my real and true blog friend, too. And don't stress about the Chupacabra post--I'm way behind on all my fave blogs because of this Blogger Idol business. I'll look for your tweet!


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